Have you ever wondered how some people know just which buttons to push to set you off? You awake the next morning after hanging out with some friends. As you sip on a cup of coffee, you get a glimpse in the back of your mind of you snapping on somebody, the night before. You can't remember who or what happened, but you know something did. You say to yourself, "I only had one drink, then well maybe two, now you're not sure if it was three. After arguing with yourself you call up one of your friends that went out with you. You ask him what happened, and he tells you of this horrific story of how your tried to take this woman who was with an almost 7 ft muscular dude and now he got a hit out on you. After he makes you sweat a little, he tells you that he just kidding. He gives you the run down on what he thinks happened because he can't remember if he had three or four drinks.

After you get off the phone you reflect on the conversation and realizes that this is the 3rd time this year that you've had beef with "Junebug" your childhood friend. Then you think about how every time he come around, you just feel a certain type of way, like he really just gets under your skin. After thinking and thinking, you remember the time when y'all was in the 2nd grade and he pushed you so high on the swings that you got scared and jumped off. In doing so you broke your two front teeth, then he took your girlfriend and you ain't liked him for real since then.

You think to yourself, and you say Wow.....that's been 40 years. Then you think about the 14 years you spent covering up your mouth, when you laughed, or being embarrassed to talk to girls, never taking pictures or frowning if you did. You also realize that it was your fought and not his and it's past time to let that go. Afterwards you go and visits your longtime friend, reveals to him your feelings and apologizes. Yall drank a couple beers and laugh about the good old days and laughing until y'all cried about the day you lost your two front teeth. A 40-year grudge diminished just like that, made possible because of the willingness to grow and heal.

Now, this was a very simple illustration of what can happen when you hold on to past hurts, disappointments or wounds. Past wounds can have long-term, devastating impacts on our daily lives. They can cause emotional instability, anger, bitterness and even hatred depending on the severity of the wound or wounds. Thats why we have to be willing to face, confront and heal our wounds. So, whether you were bullied, beat up, harassed, dealing with abandonment, molestation, rape or other abuses releasing the pain associated with these are essential. These become heavy weights and burdens that prevents us from living a healthy and balanced life. You end up re-living the nightmares over, over and over again, being consumed by the powerlessness you felt when you couldn't defend yourself. So, where do you go from here?

Acceptance, forgiveness and courage is what you need for empowerment to move forward. Whether the pain you encounter was caused by you or someone else, moving pass it and healing is a must. When we choose to sit in sorrow, grieving over life's disappointment, we become stuck mentally, emotionally and physically. In addition, unknowingly we invite in similar experiences of that which you're grieving about because the energy that you are casting out into the atmosphere is serving as a seed. It will return to you like a boomerang effect over and over. Thats why it's important take control over those energies and rise up from that low place for it is not the end of the world, yet. In other words, you have to keep moving on this life Journey and when life's knocks you down get back up and keep getting up. Accept the pain, work through it, cry and then release it by making a conscious decision to let go, forgive the perpetrator even if its yourself. The release will usher in healing, although sometimes not completely, but little by little you begin to feel lighter. Eventually, whatever had you captive will no longer have a hold on you, and you can begin to live your life with ease in mind, body, heart, soul and spirit.

Communicating Your Pain

Often, it's not easy to talk about your pain and especially when it comes to secrets that goes on behind closed doors; therefore, communication is avoided. It's not uncommon to want to run away from the pain inside, to pretend like it doesn't exist or rationalize excuses in your mind. Trying to make it all go away, make it make sense, until it just doesn't make sense. If you're constantly in your head about hurt you can't get past, then you need to talk about it. If the person that offended you is still around, then you need to find the courage to let them know how you feel. This could lead you to the healing you need to move on with life. Actually, it could be healing for both: usually when people hurt others, it's because they themselves are wounded. They can become mentally entrapped with guilt, shame and embarrassment, along with their own hidden pain. So, avoiding talking about pain is not an option; it's not healthy and can only yield negative results. If you are responsible for the pain that someone may holding within, then you should find it within your heart to make it right with them: for the benefit of all involve. If the person you hurt or that hurt you is no longer around, then talk to someone. Someone, you can trust, who will give you sound advice and not someone who just wants to be nosey. Also, if you have children that are currently suffering from pain, regardless of age, then encourage them in like manner.

When you decide to talk to the person that hurt you be sure that you are ready when you make your approach. Communicating in a healthy fashion is very important in reaching some form of agreement or common grounds. First of all, there is a difference between talking to a person and talking at them. Communication should be carried out orderly, respectfully and most of all through love; not anger, frustration, or rage. Although you have been wronged and may even feel as though you have a right to be angry, consider that it could have been you that messed up, so be kind. "Wherefore let him that thinketh he stands, take heed for fear that he may fall". (1Corinthians 10:12) During communication, when each party is speaking, they should be allowed to do so without interruption. That doesn't mean that you should sit there, not really listening, but instead waiting for them to quit talking, so you can jump in with your point of view. This is a selfish mindset: you should listen with an attentive heart, so that you may receive the healing you seek.

Regardless of who you are, what your story is or what pain you may hide within;

I believe there is a resolution to any problem, if you apply the right methods. Being wise and understanding in how we communicate, will bring about positive results. How you respond to any matter will determine the outcome. "A soft answer turns away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger". (Proverbs 15:1)

Taking the courage to communicate can help you to successfully face, confront and heal your pain, enabling you to leave your struggles behind. You can't receive what your 'PRESENT' has for you re-living and re-living your past. It takes time to heal through pain so, the length of time will be different for each. Nevertheless, at some point the pain has to be dealt with or it will gradually destroy you. So, give yourself that new beginning you deserve, haven't you paid enough already? So, jump in the race, for 'Getting on the Right Track'! You owe it to yourself!